How do you know if a guy is gay
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Women’s sexuality is more relational, whereas men’s sexuality is more about objectification.
Another factor is father hunger. Or they might be into cuckolding, where two men and a woman are engaged in sexual play but one man is submissive and the other guy is dominant and the submissive guy gets the dominant guy hard.
It’s complexity. You can see adoration for you in his eyes
Does he stare into your soul with that misty-eyed, loving, and charming way that only a guy in love will do?
If the answer is yes, that’s a strong indicator he’s fallen for you harder than you’ll ever imagine.
5. Until then, you can still choose compassion over curiosity, presence over pressure, and connection over control.
Because the real question isn’t “Is he gay?” The real question is, “Am I someone who knows how to love people without needing to define them first?”
Signs a man loves you
It’s not always easy to tell when a man has fallen for you.
If he hasn’t brought it up, there’s likely a reason. Does he compliment you? These are covered in detail in the book. This kind of dialogue can lead to meaningful conversations that allow both of you to share your values and life goals, paving the way for a more profound understanding of each other. I call this returning to the scene of the sexual crime.
When a man is in a long-term relationship with a woman but being sexual with men, either looking at porn or having actual sex, he either will or won’t be homophobic. Some are still figuring it out. Craigslist is where they go.
What are the psychological underpinnings for this behavior? About a third of these mixed-orientation marriages end in divorce right away.
It might just mean something deeper is beginning.
Internalized Shame and Why It Makes This Harder
Many men—especially those from conservative families, religious communities, or cultures where queerness is taboo—carry internalized shame around their orientation. Let him lead the conversation. Some are both, or neither. Furthermore, discussing personal topics can help establish trust and vulnerability, which are essential components of any strong relationship.
Sign 4: He Gives You Compliments
Compliments can serve as a powerful indicator of attraction and admiration.
But unless he’s made it clear he wants to talk about it, speculating about someone’s identity—even privately—can feel like a kind of trespassing.
This is especially true in social settings where being queer could still cost someone safety or community. Sometimes the relationship actually gets stronger over time as the partners develop compassion and understanding for one another.
If the man is gay, the relationship has less of a chance of survival.
It’s the search for a father, the search for masculine connection. Additionally, consider the context in which he compliments you; if he chooses moments that feel intimate or personal, such as during a quiet conversation or while sharing a laugh, it can amplify the sincerity of his words.
Furthermore, the frequency and consistency of his compliments can also be telling.
Even when they know who they are, they may hide it. He sees all of you
Think of this as a straightforward way of knowing a man likes you. That can be heartbreaking. So if a client is struggling with his sexual orientation and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay.