Sex positions for gay men

This is because these muscles are used to relaxing to let things out (so you've got to trick them). Depending on the flexibility of the top and the length of the bottom’s penis, this position also allows the top to orally pleasure the bottom while inside of them.

PROS/CONS

Similar to missionary, this position gives the top more control over the speed and depth of penetration, so it should be reserved for people who are comfortable bottoming.

The bottom may need to adjust their pelvic angle (by opening or closing it) so that the top can have a more direct entry into their anal canal.

For example, a top may penetrate their partner with a penis or other objects, while the bottom is the receptive partner. Both partners lay on their sides, with the top on the outside as the big spoon and penetrating the bottom from behind. So if it feels strange at first, that’s ok! Just don’t forget to lube up the applicator itself before you use it.

To learn more about lube, check out our guide.

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How to bottom

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Bottoming isn’t something you can dive right into.

The beauty of queer sex is how many options we have. The top can be thrusting upward, downward, or straight in, depending on where the bottom is, so you may need to use pillows, tip toes, or crouching to optimize entry.

Penetration in this position can feel harder and deeper, which can be a good thing or a bad thing.

Not all tops have mastered topping and because this position gives them full control, it can lead to trauma for those who are inexperienced.

Another downside is that if there is any trauma, the bottom wouldn’t be able to see it in this position.

Because the bottom tends to be more submissive in this position, it also requires a lot more work and stamina from the top.

This position also prevents eye contact, which minimizes visual cues and direct communication.

SIDE-BY-SIDE OR SPOONING

If you want a more sensual (and intimate) position being held while you are bottoming this one is for you.

This position is like doggy style except the top is facing away from the bottom. If that’s you, great! Think of it this way — the further up and back the top can push the bottom’s leg, the deeper the top can thrust. Take your time! This is where you clean out the inside of your ass with water using a special tool (a douche).

You don’t have to douche.

Similar to how they do it in heterosexual relationships, this position is great for intimacy. The top partner then grinds against the bottom partner, creating pleasurable friction. Read a book, scroll TikTok, or find your high school enemy on LinkedIn.

But if it makes you feel more comfortable, then spray away! If this happens, it may actually be better to lift both legs to even out the pelvis.

SUSPENDED CONGRESS

While the name seems silly, this position is only for the serious and seriously athletic. Strength and stamina are key to making this position successful for both parties.

This can also occur between lesbians, with one person penetrating the other with a strap-on or sex toy.

Best sexual position for first-time top and bottom

Now that you know who is at the top and bottom, choosing a suitable sex position that will be suitable for you and your spouse should never be a problem.

Regardless of which gay anal sex positions you explore, it’s important to understand their differences:

• Affect the top and the bottom in different ways
• Bring out both submissive or aggressive characteristics of each person
• Require an understanding of both everyone’s positioning (height, penis curvature, and pelvic angle)

Little nuances and adjustments can make all the difference in terms of pleasure vs.

Moving their pelvis forward and back can also help achieve different sensations for both people.

PROS/CONS

This is one of the best gay sex positions for those just starting out because it gives the bottom full control of the depth and speed at which they are being penetrated.

On the other hand, if you’re not new to bottoming, you can use this opportunity to be more dominant, while your top can be more submissive.

The bottom can more easily control their pelvic angle in this position, based on their own anatomy.

The potential downside for bottoms is that they have to be more active.

It’s about listening to your body.